The Five Keys To Wealth And Happiness
If you're going to use all the abilities you now have, if you're going to be all you can be, you're going to have to understand these keys.Every person who is successful has to,sooner or later.If you do, if you can handle them consistently,your life will be an indomitable success.
- You Must Learn How To Handle Frustration.
- You Must Learn How To Handle Rejection.
- You Must Learn How To Handle Financial Pressure.
- You Must Learn How To Handle Complacency.
- Always Give More Than You Expect To Receive.
- You Must Learn How To Handle Frustration.
If you want to become all you can become,do all you can do,hear all you can hear,see all you can see,you've got to learn how to handle frustration.Frustration can kill dreams. It happens all the times.Frustration can change a positive attitude into a negative one,an empowering state into a crippling one. The worst thing a negative attitude does is wipe out self-discipline.And when discipline is gone, the result you desire are gone.
So to ensure long-term success,you must learn how to discipline your frustration.Let me tell you something.The key to success is massive frustration. Look at almost any great success, and you'll find there's been massive frustration along the way. Anybody who tells you otherwise doesn't know anything about achieving. There are two kinds of people- those who've handle frustration and those who wish they had.
There's a little company called Federal Express.A guy named Fred Smith started the company, and he buit a multimillion-dollar business out of mounds of frustration.When he started the company,after financing it with every dime he had, he hoped to deliver approximately 150 packages. Instead, he delivered sixteen, five of which the business sent to the home of one of its employees. Things got worse from there. Periodically, employees cashed their payroll checks at convenience store because fund weren't available to cover the checks.Many times their planes were in the process of being repossessed,and sometimes they had to bring in a certain amount in sale during a day to keep operating. Federal Express is now a billion=dollar company.The only reason it's still there is that fred Smith was able to handle frustration upon frustration.
People get paid very well to handle frustration.If you're broke, it's probably bacause you're not handling very much frustration.You say, "Well, I'm broke, and that's why I'm frustrated." you would be rich. A major difference between people who are financially secure and people who are not is how they hendle frustration. I'm not callous enough to suggest that poverty doesn't have huge frustrations. I'm saying the way not to be poor is to take on more and more frustration untill you succeed.People say, " Well, people with money don't have any problems." They just know how to deal with them, to come up with new strategies, new alternatives. Remember, being rich is not just a matter of having money. A superb relationship provides problems and challenges. If you don't want problems, you shouldn't have a relationship at all. There's great frustration on the road to any great success - in a business, in a relationship, in life.
Here's a two-step formula for handling stress.
Step 1 : Don't sweat the small stuff.
Step 2 : Remember, it's all small stuff.
All successful people learn that success is buried on the other side of frustration. Unfortunately,some people don't get the other side. People who fail to achieve their goals usually get stopped by frustration. They allow frustration to keep them from taking the necessary actions that would support them in achieving their desire. You get through this road block by plowing through frustration,taking each setback as feedback tou can learn from,and pushing ahead. I doubt you'll find many successful people who have not experienced this.
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2. You Must Learn How To Handle Rejection.
When I repeat that in a seminar,I can feel the physiology in the room change.Is there anything in the human language with more sting than the tiny word "NO" ? If you,re in sales, what's the difference between making $100,000 and making $25,000 ? The main difference is learning how to handle rejection so that this fear no longer stops you from taking action.
The best salesman are those who are rejected the most.They're the ones who can take any " NO " and use it as a prod to go onto the next " YES ".
The biggest challenge for people in our culture is that they can't handle the world "No" .Remember the question i asked earlier ? What would you do if you knew you could not fail ? Think about it now. If you knew you couldn't fail,would that change your behavior?Would that allow you to do exactly what you want to do ? So what's keeping you from doing it ? It's that tiny word "NO". To succeed,you must learn how to cope with rejection, learn how to strip that rejection of all its power.
Ever hear of a guy named Rambo ? Sylvester stallone ? Did he just show up at the door of some agent or studio and hear, "Hey, we like your body. We're going to put you in a movie" ? Not exaxtly. sylvester stallone became a success because he was able to withstand rejection after rejection. When he started out, he was rejected more than a thousand times.
He went to every agent he could find in New York, and everyone said no. But he kept pushing, kept trying, and finally he made a movie called Rocky. he could hear the word "NO" a thousand times and then go knock on door 1,001.
How many "NO'S" can you take ? How many times have you wanted to go up and talk to someone you found attractive,then decided not to do it because you didn't want to hear the word "NO" ? How many of you decided not to try for a job or make a sales call or audition for a part because you don't want to be rejected ? Think about how crazy that is.
Think how you're creating limits just because of your fear of that little two-letter world.The word itself has no power. It can't cut your skin or sap your strength. Its power comes the way you represent it to yourself. Its power comes from the limits it makes you create. And what do limited thoughts create ? Limited lives.
There are no real successes without rejection.The more rejection you get, the better you are,the more you've learned,the closer you are to your outcome. The next times somebody rejects you,you might give him a hug.That'll change his physiology.Turn "NO's" into hugs. If you can handle rejection, you'll learn to get everything you want.
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3. You Must Learn How To Handle Financial Pressure.
The only way not to have financial pressure is not to have any finances.There are many kinds of financial pressure,and they've destroyed many people. They can create greed,envy,deceit,or paranoia.They can rob you of your sensitivity or rob you of your friends.Now remember,I said they can,not that they will.Handling financial pressure means knowing how to get and knowing how to give,knowing how to earn and knowing how to save.
When i first started to make money,I started to catch hell it.My friend disowned me. They said, 'You're into money. what's your problem ? I said, "I'm not into money. I just have some." They wouldn't see it that way.People somehow suddenly perceived me as a different person because i had a different financial status.Some were very resentful. So that's one kind of financial pressure.Not having enought money is another kind of financial pressure.You probably feel that pressure every day. Most people do.But whether you have a lot or a little,you deal with financial pressure.
Remember that all of our actions in life are guided by our philosophies, our guiding internal representations about how to act. They give us the models of how to behave.George.S.Clason provided a great model for learning to handle financial pressure in THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON.Have you read it ?.I so,read it againt.If not, run out and get it mow.It's a book that can make you totally wealthy,happy ,and excited.To me,the most important thing the book teaches is to take 10 percent of all you earn up front and give it away.That's right. Why? One reason is that you should put back what you take out. Another is that it creates value for you and for others.Most important,it says to the world and to your own subconscious that there is more than enough. And that's a very powerful belief to nuture.If there's more than enough,it means you can have what you want and others can.too.And when you hold that thought,you make it come true.
When do you start to give the 10 percent away? .When you're rich and famous? No. You should do it when you're starting out.Because what you give away becomes like your seed corn.You've to invest it,not eat it,and the best way to invest it is to give it away so that it produces value for others.You won't have trouble finding tha ways.There is need all around us.One of the most valuable things about doing this is how this makes you feel about yourself.When you're the kind of person who tries to find and fill other people's needs,it makes you feel differently about who you are. And from those kinds of feelings or states,you live your life in an attitude of gratitude.
I had the good fortune the other day to return to my high school in GLENDORA,CALIFORNIA.I'm doing a program for teachers, and i wanted to acknowledge the teacher who have affected my life.When i arrived, i realized that a speech program that taught me how to express myself had been cut for lack of funding and bacause poeple didn't think it was important enough.So i funded the pgogram.I gave back a portion of what had been give to me.I didn't do it because I'm a swell guy.I did it because I owe it. And isn's it nice to know that when you owe something,you can pay it back ?
When i was kid,our parents worked extermely hard to take good care of us. For various reasons we found ourselves in extremely tight financial situations.I remember one Thanksgiving when we hed no money.Things were looking dim until someone arrived at the front door with a box full of canned goods and a turkey.The man who delivered it said it was from someone who knew we would not ask for anything and loved us and wanted us to have a great Thanksgiving.I never forgot that day.So every Thanksgiving,I do what someone did for me that day:I go out and buy about a week's worth of food and deliver it to a family in need. I deliver the food as the worker or delivery boy, never as the person actually providing the gift.I always leave a note that says, "This is from someone who cares about you and hopes someday you will take good-enough care of yourself that you'll go and return the favor for someone else in need."
It become one of the highlights of my year.Seeing people's faces when they know someone cares-- making a difference-- that's what life is all about.One year i wanted to give away turkeys in Harlem,bur we didn't have a van,or even a car,and everythingwas closed.My staff said,"Let's forget about it this year," and i said , "no, I'm going to do it." They asked,"How are you going to do it? You don't even have a van to make deliveries from." I said there were plenty of vans on the street; we just needed to find one that would take us. I started to flag down vans, not a practice I would recommend in NEW YORK . Many drivers there think they're on search-and-destroy mission,and the fact that it was Thanksgiving didn't change anything.
So i went to a stoplight and started knocking on van windows,telling people i'd give them $100 if they'd take us to Harlem. When that didn't work too well, either,I change my massage a little.I told people i wanted to take an hour and half of their time to deliver food to needy people in an "important area" of the city. That got us a little closer.
I had already decided that i wanted to go in a van that was long enough and big enough to make a large delivery. Sure enough, this beautiful van, fire-mist burgundy,pull up,and it was extra long,with an extension on the back. I said,"That's it." One of my people ran across the street and caught it at the light,knocked on the window,and offered the driver $100 if he'd drive us where we wanted. The driver said, "Look, you don't have to pay me. I'll be happy to take you. "This was the tenth person we'd tried. Then he reached over, picked up his hat,and put it on. It said Salvation Army. He said his name was captain John Rondon, and he wanted to make sure we brought food to people who were really needy.
So instead of just delivering food to Harlem ,we also went to South Bronx, which is one of the most blighted landscapes in the country. We drove past the vacant lots and the bombed-out buildings to a grocery in the South Bronx. There we bought food and delivered it to the squatters, urban refugees,street people,and families struggling to make a decent life.
I don't know how much we change those people's lives, but according to Captain Rondon, it changed their belief about people caring.No amount of money can buy what you get when you give of yourself. No amount of financial planing could do more for you than if you give 10 percent away. It teaches you what money can do, and it teach you what money can't do. And those are two of the most valuable lessons you can learn.I used to think the best way to help poor people was to be one of them. I found out the opposite may be true. The best way to help poor people is to be a model of other possibilities, to let them know there is another set of choices available, and to assist them in developing the resources to become self-sufficient.
After you give away 10 percent of your income,take another 10 persent to reduce your debts and third 10 percent to build up capital to invest.You need to live on 70 percent of what you have.We live in a capitalistic society in witch most human being are not capitalists.As a result,they dont't have the life-style they desire.Why live in a capitalistic society, surrounded by opportunity,and not take advantage of the very system our forefathers fought to create? Learn to take your money and use it as capital. If you are spending it, you'll never build up any capital.You'll never have the resources you need.It's been said that in California the average income is now $25,000 a year. The average outgo is $30,000. The difference is called financial pressure. You don't want to join that crowd.
The bottom line is that money is like everything else. You can make it work for you,or you can let it work against you. You should be able to deal with money as with anything alse in your mind, with the same purpose and elegance.Learn to earn,to save,and to give. If you can do that, you'll learn to handel the financial pressure,and money will never again be a stimulus to putting you in a negative state that causes you to be unhappy or treat others around you in a less-than-resourceful way.
When you master the first three keys,you will begin to experience your life as hugely successful.If you can handle frustration,rejection and financial pressure, there's no limit to what you can do. Ever See Tina Turner perform ? She is someone who has handle massive amount of all three.After becoming a star, she lost her marriage,lost her money, and spent eight years in show business purgatory of hotel lounges and cheap clubs . She couldn't get people to return her phone calls, much less offer her a recording contract.But she kept plugging,kept tuning out thr "no's " kept working to pay off debts and put her financial house in order. Finally she came all the way back to the top of the entertainment world.
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4. You Must Learn How To Handle Complaceny.
Comfort can be one of the most disastrous emotions a body could have. What happends when a person get too comfortable?He stops growing, stops working,stops creating added value.You don't want to get too comfortable. If you feel really comfortable,chanses are you've stopped growing.What did Bob Dylan say? "He who's not busy being born is busy dying." You're either climbing or you're sliding.Ray Kroc,the founder of MACDONAL's was asked if he were give one piece of advice to someone to guarantee a long life of success,what would it be?He said to simply remember this: When you're gree you grow; when you ripen,you rot. As long as you remain green ,you grow.You can take any experience and make it an opportunity for growth,or you can take it and make it an invitation to decay.You can see retirement as the beginning of richer life,or you can see it as the end of your working life.You can see success as a springboard to greater things ,or you can see it as a resting place.And if it's a resting place,chances are you won't keep it for long.
One kind of complacency comes from comparison.I use to think i was doing well bacause i was doing well campare with people i knew.That's one of the biggest mistakes you can make.Maybe it just means your friends aren't doing very well.Learn to judge yourself by your goals instead of by what your peer seem to be doing. Why? Because you can always find people to justify what you're doing.
didn't you do what as kind? Didn't you say,Johnny did this,why can't I? Your mother probably said, 'well,I dont't care what johnny does," and she was right.You shouldn't care what Johnny or Mary or the Joneses do.Care about what you're capable of.Care about what you create and what you want to do.Work from a set of dynamic, evolving, enabling goals that will help you do what you want,not what someone else has done.There will always be someone who has more than you.There will always be someone who has less.None of that matters.You need to judge yourself by your goals and nothing else.
Here's another way to aviod complacency.stay away from coffeepot seminars.You know what I'm talking about.The sessions where everyone else's work habits,sex life,financial status and everything else become fair game."Coffeepot seminar" are like suicide. They poison your brain by getting you to focus your attention on what other people are doing in their private lives instead of what you can be diong to enhance your experience of life. It's easy to get caught up in these " Seminers", but just remember that people who do are merely trying to distract themselves from the boredom created by their inability to produce the result they desire in their own life.
There's a phrase that Rolling Thunder , the Indian wise man,used often, and that was,"Speak with good purpose only."Remember,what we put out comes back to us.So my challenge to you is to stay away from the garbage of life.Don't major in minor things.If you want to be complacent and mediocre, spend your time gossiping about who is sleeping with whom. If yourself, make your life special.
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5. Always give more than you expect to received.
This may be the most important key of all because it virtually guarantees true happiness.
I remember driving home from a meeting one night, almost asleep.The speed bump kept jolting me into consciousness. And in this halfawake state, I was trying to figure out what gave life meaning.All of a sudden, a little voice in my head said,The secret to living is giving."
If you want to make your life work,you have to start with how to give.Most people start their life thinking about nothing but how to receive.Receiving is not a problem.Receiving is like the ocean.But you've got to make sure you are giving so you can start the process in motion.The problem in life is people want thing first. A couple will come to me,and the man will say his wife doesn't treat him well.And the woman will say tha's because he's not very affectionate.So they're each waiting for the other to make the first move, provide the first proof.
what kind of a relationship is that ?How long is it going to last?the key to any relationship is that you have to give first and then keep giving.Don't stop and wait to receive.when you start keeping score,the game's over. You're standing there saying. "I gave,now it's her turn." and the game over is over.She's gone. You can take your score to the next spining planet because the scoreboard doesn't work that way here.You've got to be willing to plant the seed and then nuture its growth.
What would happen if you went to siol and said, Give me some fruit.Give me some plants"? The soil would probably respond,"Excuse me, sir,but you're a little confused.You must be new here.That's not the way the game is played." Then it would explain that you plant the seed. You take care of it. You water it and till the soil. You fertilize it.You protect it and nurture it. Then, if you do it well,you will get your plant or your fruit sometime later. You could ask of the soil forever, but it wouldn't change things. You have to keep giving,keep nurturing, for the soil to bear fuit - and life's exactly the same way.
Tou can make a lot of money.You can lord over kingdoms or run huge businesses or control vast terrain.But if you're just doing for yourself, you're not really a success.You don't really have power.You don't have real wealth.If you make it to the top of "success mountain" by yourself, you'll probably jump off.
You want to know the biggest illusion about success ? That it's like a pinnacle to be climbed, a thing to be prossessed , or a static result to be achieved.If you want to succeed, if you want to achieve all your outcomes, you have ti think of success as a process, a way of life , a habit of mind, a strategy for life. That's what this chapter been about.You must know what you have, and you must know the perils in your way.You must have the ability ti use your power in a responsible and loving way if you are to experience true wealth and happiness.If you can handle these five things, you'll be able to use all the skills and powers .
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